there are no words, but there's understanding

i wrote this story/poem/ whatever a few years ago.
read it again last night; i can remember exactly when i wrote this. we were in california.
anyway, here it is.

I bought a book of butterflies
with red and yellow transparent wings
they sat there so beautifully on the page
looking and nearly speaking, as if they owned the world.

Never did i think that this would change
i thought they all would stay the same
but i bought them from the corner-store
from the man with the glass and visor
and we all knew his reputation
All except for me.

From the moment at home they seemed to change
rustling and gentle flapping came from the book
when opened there was only empty pages
but the room was filled with butterflies.

Large butterflies and small ones
all with red and yellow transparent wings
they changed my home into a foreign land.

I didnt think that it could change
i thought it all to be the same
but then i looked, and i did see
a palace of flowers filled with rings
commanded by butterflies, my kings
and i was the queen of butterfly wings.


i used to write stuff like that all the time.

this week has been so stressful. things in the near future aren't looking much better either.
i finally sent my ipod in today. i miss it. i love listening to my music in the car, and now i cant for at least 10 days.

yesterday i took my earrings out since its been longer than 6 weeks since i got them peirced. Found out that one of them was peirced slanted, and i could not for the life of me get the earring back in. i tried for at least 40 minutes. my ear was bleeding like crazy and it hurt 20 times more than when i got it peirced. at one point i got lightheaded and saw spots and had to lay on the floor.
then mom came home and re-peirced my ear. i shook for two hours afterwards.

went to the hospital today. the doctor told me that my grandpa is dying. he was blunt, and i wanted to tell him to shut up cause he wasnt telling me anything i didnt already know.
he was on the 10th floor. remember that bed and breakfast that i worked at one day last summer? i could see it from the window.
i hate hospitals. i dont want to go back. all ive ever experienced there is helplessnes and hopelessness.


Todays Theme Music:
too bright to see, too loud to hear- underoath
pretty voice- cloud cult

anything rise against