slipping

The title of my blog is "If I Keep My Eyes On Jesus, I Can Walk On Water".

It's from one of my favorite songs by Audio Adrenaline. Peter found that if he followed God in everything he did, then he could do virtually anything.

I must confess I haven't been the best Christian lately. Everyone slips, but thats no excuse.
And as I've been slipping, I'm finding it harder to survive. At life.

I need to communicate more with God. Because I'm drowning.
I fail at everything.

Plus my parents hate my friends. And my friends hate my parents, which doesn't help things much. But I don't blame them.
My dad is sort of neutral, but mother-dear is very opinionated and stubborn and a little old-fashioned. She believes in respect and respect alone, and first impressions stick with her. So upon meeting her, you must do little wrong or else...

Some of my very best friends are practically not even allowed to come to my house. I should think I would not be allowed to even be near them if I didn't go to church and Awana with them. If they want to even give me a ride home from somewhere, for example, my mom will say no. If my friends invite me to go to their house, I can only sometimes get my parents to consent. Basically my parents like for me to spend as little time with them as possible. Which sucks- you don't understand how much.

I have never wanted to get out so much. My friend and I have it all arranged: I'm going to save money (hopefully enough) to co-rent an apartment or something when I turn 18. Or whenever I get enough money. Which Im afraid might be never... but im trying. It's less than a year away that I can have my own rules.

Of course, things would probably be a lot better if I let God in more... well at least I would be able to bear the bad things more.