hot or cold

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in two different worlds.
(and no, my parents are not separated)
One world is white and the other is gray.

It's because I am Hispanic, and most of my family (cousins, aunts, etc) live in the Valley. Some of them claim to be Christians (or "Religious", as they say), and some of them don't even pretend. Today I was in the Valley practicing dancing for my cousin's quinceanera, and everyone was describing a party they had gone to (with no lack of swearing). One girl stopped and said something like, "Oh yeah, I'm religious but I just cuss a lot, and I party a lot". My other cousin flat out said that she didn't fit in with "all the religious people", and that she and all her friends would probably be going to a bad place (meaning hell).

They all laughed.

They laughed.

It reminded me of a video I saw at church recently, where a guy went up to random people in random places and asked them what they thought of the devil.
Several people didn't believe in the devil.
Several people didn't believe it even concerned them.

Yeah, we're only talking about your eternity here, people.

It always hurts me to see my cousins talking this way. I can't really talk about God with most of them, because they just claim to be Christians and shrug it off, and if I show them where they are stumbling, they just ask me if I have a problem with the way they are. Their world is completely gray- they mix the bad with the good and think that it's all good.
But God doesn't take the man who is lukewarm; you must be either hot or cold.

I always come back into my little safe comfort zone of white, but what good does it do? My family is still out there. They still don't love God. They still don't understand what they are doing with their lives. They still don't realize that they have time to change.

Jesus has already saved me- now I need to help Him save my family.

Would you please pray for me?



don't be alarmed
don't be afraid of what you are
just turn around
everybody's someone
everybody is someone

them're some BIIIG tonsils

So yesterday my mom told me something about myself that I did not know.
Something that is quite strange.

She said that when I was a little kid, the doctor wanted to take my tonsils out because apparently they are abnormally large.
The doctor said that if I ever had difficulty breathing or circles under my eyes, they would probably have to take them out.

I'm blaming this on my inability to swallow a pill.
I always have to chop pills into little pieces and then swallow them with food.

And I have to chew my food really well, or else it gets stuck in my throat.

And I have to sleep on my side or with 2 pillows under my head, or else it feels like my throat is closing up and I can't breathe very well.

I just never knew that this was all because of my large tonsils.
huh

only thing

Family Force 5 will be in Albuquerque tomorrow night!!
I'm not going to the concert, but it will still be pretty darn sweet.
I tried to explain this to my friend Alan today in class, but he doesn't know because he's never heard FF5. So I'm going to lend him my cd.
He's going to love it.

It was really fun in class today.
Because we got done with our handouts pretty fast, so we talked a lot of the time.

I'm quite content with my life right now.
Everything's pretty good.
There are a few things that I think could be better, but I just have to learn to deal with it. I only wish... I could have had more time.
Yeah, that's the only thing.

dancin'

I love my cousin Richard.
In a cousinly sort of way.
He is my partner in my cousin's quinceneara that I will be standing in. I'm really grateful for that, because I don't know any of the other guys, and they don't seem to have the greatest personalities.
Richard is willing to learn and make things fun.
He likes to spin me.

Today was the start of another dance class. It was just a review day, though.
thank goodness!
It was pretty fun.

Speaking of dancing, there is a 4-H dance this Friday! And the good news is: you don't have to be in 4-H to go!
But you do have to have 3 dollars.
And if you are a couple, it's only 5 dollars.
Bring all your supa dance moves. Mainly it's just quickstep and swing. And if you don't know how to dance, we will teach you.
It's at the 4-H center from 8-11pm.
See you there...

How the Wii Was Won (and other short stories)

So today Colleen won the Wii.
For weeks people at Sagebrush have been competing to see who could win this Wii, which was being given away by the church.
And today Coolaid
WON IT!!!
yay!
I'm really excited for her, but she's not even going to keep it. She's going to sell it so that she can buy an iPod.
"I can't live without an iPod!" she says.

I found my old diary today. I think that I should probably burn it, or do something so that no person will ever read it.
Yes, it's that bad.
There was a point in my life that was very embarrassing because...... well if I told you then you would know.
And I don't want you to know.

The other day my mom and I went to get haircuts. Mine only took about 20 minutes, because it was just a wash and cut. It was kind of strange, because the lady that cut my hair (turns out) had just taken the same class I took at CNM! More and more coincidences... this is getting creepy though.
Anyway, she was actually quite a nice lady. I'm not all too pleased with my haircut, but it was my own stupid decisions that made it bad. Don't worry, I didn't do anything too drastic.
Mom's hair took about 2-3 hours, because she got highlights.
Highlights take freakin' forever.
I read a whole bunch of those magazines they have in the waiting rooms, and then the lady called me "sweetie" and gave me two suckers (haha), and I was going to start coloring with this highlighter I found in mom's purse, but the lady turned on the TV and so I watched The Price Is Right. With Drew Carey. Now instead of wearing t-shirts with Bob's face on them, people wear t-shirts with Drew's face on them. And at the end of the show, he does not remind you to help control the pet population. But it's special in its own way.
I guess.

Anyway-
the moral of the story is:
If you are waiting for someone who is getting their hair dyed, bring a book.

my weekend

I had a really good weekend. I'm sad that its over.
For me, weekends start on Friday because I don't go to CNM that day.
So on Friday we were on the road at 8:00am, cause my friend Melodie came to our house and we drove her to Government class at Hoffmantown. But we didn't get to stay. We dropped Melodie off and drove to a 4-H meeting for the Free Stylin' Hawks, our (now) old club. We were having elections/induction, so that was officially my last meeting with that club.
Ever!
yay!
Then we drove back to government, stayed for the last 30minutes, drove Melodie to her church (which happens to be right next to ours), and went to Dions. By the time we got home, it was 2:00.
Then Clinton and I left again at 4:30ish, because we volunteered at a football game.
It was actually a lot of fun, now that I think of it. I was too tired to think after it was over, because I made nachos, frito pie, hot dogs, and chili dogs for people the whole time. Which can be very tiring.

Saturday and Sunday basically consisted of studying for my math final/PSAT. But there was an Orangina and a Jones soda thrown in there somewhere, so it wasn't too bad. My math final is tomorrow (yikes!) and the PSAT is the day after that (oh no!). I'm probably more worried about the final because I'll get my grade sooner. And it determines whether or not I will be moving on to the College Algebra class. :P

So please pray for me. Pray for everyone taking the final! And the PSAT.

Joni Tada Dinner

Last night I went and helped at this Joni Tada dinner they had at Grace. Joni Tada is an artist that is paralyzed, and so she holds a paintbrush in her mouth. And her paintings are actually pretty good.
So the dinner was for families with children who are disabled. The parents went in one room and had thier food and entertainment, and the kids went in this other room and we had a fiesta. And thats why I was there (not because there was a fiesta, but because they needed people to help with the kids).
I was assigned to this kid named Simon. Simon is in kindergarten and he has Down Syndrome, so he had trouble paying attention and he didn't listen to directions very well. Also he didn't speak.
So I had some trouble keeping up with him. He liked to escape.
I was feeding him some chicken and then I looked up and saw my brother and some other guys dancing in the hall. They had on sombreros and had painted beards and twirly mustaches on thier faces with different colored paints. So I told Simon, " Look at the clowns!" And he actually looked and smiled! For once his attention was caught for more than 30 seconds. It was pretty funny actually.
They actually did have real clowns there making balloon animals for everyone. One gave me a sticker that read 'I Hugged A Clown Today'. So i put it on my hand, sticky side up, and I patted Peter on the back and told him, "See ya Tuesday, Peter!"
and he didn't suspect a thing.
It was pretty funny.
Overall, I think everyone had a good time.

Time

I babysat for the neighbors' kids on Friday. They are such sweet kids. We played games and watched Jungle Book 2. Which is a good way to get the song "Bear Necessities" stuck in your head.
The little boy, Alejandro, was in first grade. He reminded me sooo much of Clinton when he was that age! At bedtime, he wanted me to read him this dog-eared, torn, falling apart 2007 LEGO/Star Wars catalog. It went something like this:

IMPERIAL STAR DESTROYER!
Destroy your enemies with the action gripping excitement of a new Imperial battleship! Comes with a Darth Vader with a limited edition gray suit, 5 storm troopers with limited edition red suits, and a limited edition captain! AND: extra feature- self opening hatch! Just press the side button to bring this ship to life.
$399.99

The kid was so into it, I almost wished I had $399.99 so I could buy the kid a LEGO.
They were good kids, but as I was leaving I was glad because I didn't have to be with them all the time. I like going and spending a few hours with kids, and then leaving them with their parents. Not even the parents like spending all their time with the kids. They did pay me to take care of them while they went off by themselves didn't they?
So I already know that I'm too young to have my own kids. I'm not ready or responsible enough. Time goes by so fast; so why do kids my age go out and have kids?
"I can't believe this happened" "I didn't know" "It's not my fault"
whatever.
Think about the kid. I have several cousins who have made those kind of mistakes.
Think about the kids.
Yesterday I went to practice dancing for my cousin's quinceanera there was a really nice girl there. She was dancing with this guy who was obviously her boyfriend. When we were leaving, my mom asked me if I had seen her baby. Her baby? I wanted to know how old she was.
She was my age.
16 is way too young to have a baby.
Think about the kid. He's the one who has to deal with everything.
Time goes by so fast. Let's just enjoy being young while we can.