we all change in our own pretty ways

i have a tan. you can see it really well when i take off my watch, the pale strip moderately contrasting against it. my skin is still slightly sunburned, but thats ok. its a reminder of a good week and many many hours spent outside enjoying God and life and the people i share them with.

i cant believe camp is over. its only been a week, but i feel like i was gone for much, much longer. it was a really, really amazing week, i dont really know what else to say about it.
Soon into the week i knew it would be the best camp ever. i slept really well on the first night (which never happens), and i brought my chalk so in the morning we drew all over the concrete floor of our cabin, kind of sealing the epic-ness of this being our last year.

For service this year, i signed up for prayer and filling up water balloons. The best services ever. i wasnt too excited about prayer. Actually, i didnt really want to do it, i'll admit. But after the first time, i was really excited about it and couldnt wait for the next night. We all gathered in the gazebo (about 8 of us). it overlooked the mountains coming up from the bottom half of the camp, which is in a deep valley, and it was as if God was saying to me,
"look at this, look what ive done for you to look at. This is me telling you that I love you; I'm doing this for you because i want you to be happy and praise me."
and i didnt know how anyone could not praise Him, after looking at it. i honestly didn't know.
We all sat with our eyes closed, the world dark to everything but Him; He was all we were seeing, and we prayed for everything you could possibly imagine, little things and big things, because God cares about everything and that is whats special about Him. And when we opened our eyes, everyone had a smile on their face because we knew that God is in control, and you can't not feel good when you know that.
Filling up water balloons was fun too. it was more of a last minute thing for me, but i knew it would be a good time when we all rolled up our jeans and took off our shoes and walked across the grassy game feild, grabbed hoses and spouts and stepped into a giant round tub that came up to our waists, and began filling them. There were balloons of every color, and i repeatedly took some out of my pocket, filled them, and handed them off to someone who was tieing until there was some sort of method about it. It took us about three hours and we filled up at least 400, and by the time it was over my skin was red and rain was falling and we smelled like sun and water and mud. Then we went back to our cabins and took off our jeans and hung them up to dry (they were wet from our own little water war) and huddled in our sleeping bags and ran blow dryers over our legs to get them warm again. i love moments like that, when you dont care about much in the world, and all you want in the world is something simple, when the littlest things can make you so stinking happy, laughing just because your legs are finally thawing out or just because you have someone to laugh with or laughing just because you really love to laugh. Its a God thing, another one. there are so many, you know.

i got to know mostly everyone at camp this year. i felt very close to everyone on my team, and people who werent on my team, and close to God through them because we all wanted to please Him.
on the last night our curfew was later so that we could hang out more with the kids we dont see too often. we sat around for the first hour or so looking at the stars and marvelling at the beauty of the clouds against the sun. And then someone had the idea of going down to the pond, at the exact opposite end of the camp (at least a mile away), so we all piled into the bed of someones truck (it was about midnight) and drove down. It was dark except for the light of the moon. we were all crammed into the truck, the flap down and some peoples legs hanging out, and as i hugged my knees and talked with the friends around me i couldnt help but feel like an illegal immigrant discreetly traveling across the border.
when we got to the pond it was so still-----. the air smelled absolutely wonderful, cool on my sunburned skin, and the crickets said hello to each other from every corner of the woods, faint over the rush of the waterfall. We sat on a bench by the pond and looked at pictures and random, pointless videos, talking and laughing, our voices and laughter reaching up into the night air bouncing off water and rocks and trees, true and sincere worship reaching up branching arms to our God.
He was listening.

(my finger hurts. it got slammed in a gate.)

so i hadnt been home for the 4th of july in 8 years. we all went to lauras house for an end-of-camp shebang, and lit sparklers and climbed on her roof to watch the sunset and fireworks and the moon peeking out behind the clouds. People up and down the street had a sort of fireworks war, or maybe a showdown, alternately shooting up amazing sparks and sparkles that had to be illegal, but very enjoyable.

i am eating some disgusting-looking melted raisinets that had to get left in the car when we went to the movies earlier. we saw wolverine. not quite as good as fight club, but still worth seeing. i love the dollar theater.

i am about to fall asleep.

good night.
i love you.
and i love God more than you.

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if you dont like this song, then i dont know what is wrong with you-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFlEfErAJxk&NR=1#
i have been listening to it non-stop.
literally.

also- phil wickham. look him up.