everything's eventual

I am in between tetris games. its addicting. I play every time i get on facebook.

guess what.
(what)
last tuesday while i was at camp, my dad found out for sure that he will definitely be going to portland. He and mom leave sometime in august. its going to be weird, but in a good way. they asked my friend kristin to come and live with me while theyre gone. i dont really mind that she's going to be here, but i am annoyed that my parents wont even consider me staying alone. They say they just want someone here so i dont get lonely, but i am suspicious that they dont trust me to "live by their rules" etc etc. But at least someone will be here to water the plants if i forget and let the dog outside if im out late.
and now my parents are telling me how to do all these little things like turn on the sprinklers and change light bulbs, not that i didnt know how, but if i tell them that they get frustrated. i know theyre worried that i wont be able to fend for myself once im "on my own" (with kristin haha), but i wish they weren't. it makes me feel a lot younger.

Subway now has hot pastrami sandwiches. theyre taking place of the tuscan chicken sub, which was actually really popular. pastrami is really disgusting. it looks nasty and it smells nasty. actually, i dont really like lunch meat. (why do i work at subway? i dont know)
when i walked in today, kristine handed me a new shirt and told me to change. Its bright red with stars decorating letters on the front advertising lays chips, with ADD CHIPS AND A DRINK written across it, and on the back it says HOT PASTRAMI with more stars. I think its pretty funny. Also since i was out of town, i got last pick in the sizes, so i have to wear a large. The sleeves come down to my elbows and it looks like i lost 100+ lbs eating at subway. but maybe that was their plan.
who knows.

i went on a bike ride today. I had to, because last week was very physical climbing up and down the mountain and running around all day, and it felt weird just sitting around when i got home from work. i could feel the muscles in my legs pumping the pedals, and it made me feel powerful. (and it took longer for me to get tired)
basically, bike riding just makes me happy to be alive. More than happy really. When the wind hits my face and bends my eyelashes back and i rocket down the street with cars whizzing past, sometimes i actually laugh out loud because there is so much joy in my heart. I remember thinking today, "i am so full", and i remembered thinking the same thing last week at camp when we had an extended night of worship. i was sitting cross legged on the floor because i was too full to stand; there was so much love in my heart that it lifted my head up and thats how i sang to my savior. and sometimes i couldnt talk, but it was pure worship nonetheless. sometimes i just sat and thought; i thought about how much God loves me and how much I love Him back and how much He's given me, things like Josh and love and how im able to love God more than josh, and bike rides to the library with wind in my face the whole way there and rain on my skin the whole way back.
i am so full.

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listening to-
the radio, for once.
104.3.
puddle of mud.