i don't know where to begin.

life is crazy.

i think that is mainly God's fault.

(not that im blaming you, God. i actually really love you a lot.)

I have spent about the last month spending as much time as i could with Danielle, because she was moving.

has moved.

I went over and we packed boxes and i told her she didn't need to pack all her scarves (among other things), but gave in when she asked what she would do if a hot guy in a convertable drove up and asked her to ride with him. Hot guys+ rides in convertables apparently = scarves.

we went to goodwill and buffalo exchange. also we flirted with a bald guy in a convertable. yes, danielle wore a scarf.

last thursday i got up at 5 am to drive her and lola to the airport. as we were leaving danielles house, i had a sentimental moment closing the door. That house has nothing but happy memories from me. I went over when i had a bad day or when i felt like it, and it was comfortable and always made me feel good. I housesat there, and i had sleepovers there for small group. i took one last look inside as i shut the door.

i love that house.

i got up and drove and lugged 2 huge duffel bags to the check-in counter at the airport. that is how much i love danielle.

nonetheless, 5 am is way too early for driving, carrying heavy luggage, and goodbyes.

cause when we actually parted ways, i was just like, seeya. ZzZzZzZzZzZZZZzz.

haha.

and now... its happening again.

another amazing friend moving in only a month.

but im just laughing at God. im not angry with him or anything, of course.

not at all, because im not scared. ill see everyone again someday, in heaven. and here, because there will be roadtrips and visits and talking and laughing.

i spent the month of April preparing for Danielle to leave, and i will spend the month of May preparing for another incredible girl to leave.

it wont be easy, but it makes me laugh. and cry, but mostly laugh. so if youre reading this, like i know you are, i just want you to know that i love you.

lots lots lots.

also i am jealous of you, but in a good way, because you are so lucky :)

an end is always also a beginning.

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You lose control when you hold too tight,
And turn your head long enough to let it bite.

faith left me staring at the ceiling through the night.
It's freaking me out.

And when I fell asleep, it plagued my dreams,
And 30 bits of glass had become my teeth.
They were breaking each and every time I tried to speak.
It's freaking me out.