does the rain that sent each spring anew to fall on her not fall on you?

Earlier i was sitting on a chair opposite josh listening to him play guitar, and thinking.
Friday we painted his guitar case. josh said he did a bad job of washing the paint off his hands, but i didnt care. i like having paint and stuff on my hands, like a reminder of what i did earlier and the joy and satisfaction i got from it. I put my hand on his and the paint stood out, matching in places even though it shouldn't have (guess thats just the way God works sometimes), showing that we had used our talents for God even in something so seemingly insignificant, and he is still pleased.
Though it didnt really take much talent or skill, since we were just rubbing paint on with our hands and reaching in the paint bucket, staining the bottles whatever color was on our hands, grabbing whatever we saw first, squeezing and flicking and dropping and throwing it onto the case. The colors meshed together in complicated swirls and unlikely patterns that were apparently meant to be, and even though i didnt see Jesus's face in any pattern like anyone who's claimed to see it in their toast or potato chips, it felt priceless; something better than anything i could buy or sell, just because in creating it i saw God more than i could in any picture or depiction of Him.
(thank you, Jesus)

i was thinking that i love watching josh play guitar. There were two guitar picks, one was this color of blue that im in love with (i remember thinking of a button i have thats the same color), and the other is smaller, white and with a picture on it. i looked at the side of it. it was all worn down, a memory of the music played with it, the mistakes and revelations. and feeling. i think listening to the music is like a kind of window into how josh is feeling. there are times i really like what i hear.
mostly i like watching his left hand move up and down the neck of the guitar, sliding and pausing and pressing and tapping, in patterns and directions that i don't understand but am fascinated by. i like watching the right hand fingers gripping just enough of the blue pick, the one whose color i love, to make it easy to dart back and forth at just the right time to strike each string in patterns or succession, each producing a different sound.


went to second saturday this morning. We went to an organization called Love INC. Its kind of like Goodwill, where you donate your old stuff, but they also pick out families or individuals who could use the stuff and give it to them. So we loaded up lamps and love seats and end tables into trucks and drove them to the houses of people who needed them. It was pretty cool. Ive only been to two second saturdays (the first where we painted Joy Junction) and they've both been amazing. I can't believe i didn't start going earlier.

im having trouble keeping my eyes open. been awake for 19 hours now, with a lot of stuff in between, bowling and second saturday and church and sonic, and this medication im on makes me pretty tired an hour or so into taking it.
Yeah, i gotta take pills now because last week after white sands, my ear got seriously infected and was bleeding and everything gross, and when it started healing the skin grew over the back of the earring. so i had to go to the doctor on thursday and he cut it out with scissors, no shots or anything to numb it, but scissors and some brown goop to stop the bleeding.
yeah, apparently im allergic to nickel.

nonetheless, i had an amazing day today. (im in love with God).

goodnight. i love you.

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right now i LOVE-

lady blue- as cities burn
bullet to binary pt 2- mewithoutyou
(actually anything mewithoutyou. aaaaaaand i finally got brother, sister. happy about that)

i think i will get Hell or High Water (as cities burn) with the $13 i have in change from subway tips.