i feel accomplished

its been a week since i posted. Feels like its been a month. Time is going by so fast, and when it passes it feels like its been much, much longer than its actually been. I feel like ive been in school for 4 months instead of 2, and i feel like josh and i have been together for years instead of just 6 months. And it seems like my parents have been gone for months and months, when its only been two. I dont know how ill get used to them coming back for good. I dont know if i can.

Mom and Dad are coming back today. They should get here a little after 4, and then their flight home is on saturday at 2:30. Im actually looking forward to them coming home. i have actually kinda missed them a little.
I feel good about them coming back for a few days, because i feel like i have nothing to hide from them. I used to keep to myself a lot because i didn't think they would understand me and would as a result condemn me for things. But now, i dont care if they judge me or critizise me or dissaprove of what i do or things i say. Now i feel open, like i want to share things about me with them so that they can know who i really am. I do still care what they think of me (naturally), i just care more about being myself, especially around them.
Also im excited that theyre coming because they said they have a suprise for me.
yay!

I asked my parents if they would take the money they would've spent on me at christmas and help me buy a car with it, and they said yes. Cant wait! Once i have a car, the next step will be to move out.
But of course i didn't tell them that. It would hurt them.

Ive been in a really good mood lately. Ive been thinking about beautiful things a lot lately, like God and my friends and the future, and that puts me in a good mood. I love surrounding myself with beautiful things too; colorful things and music. I was kind of mad earlier because i was reading Plato's Republic for my philosophy class, and in it Socrates says, "The lovers of sights and sounds like beautiful colors, shapes, and everything fashioned out of them, but their thought is unable to embrace and see the nature of the beautiful itself." I would definitely call myself a lover of sights and sounds. I love looking at beautiful things and hearing beautiful things; i certainly think that i can see and embrace the nature of beauty.
Now if he had said 'understand', that would be different. God is the most beautiful thing i can think of, and i definitely do not understand him or his beauty. but thats ok, because i know i cant understand it, and it makes it more beautiful that i cant.

I think that salvation is the most beautiful thing that a person can experience. Second would probably be marriage, and third would be having a baby. Actually, i guess i should say that love is the most beautiful thing that a person could experience. Gods love is above the rest and is the most beautiful, so salvation is the best thing a person can experience. Marriage is second most beautiful, because God made the people getting married exactly for each other, not to mention he gave them their love. Having a child is the third most beautiful because a baby is a miracle from God.
I guess things are just beautiful because God is everywhere in them.
I love how things are connected like that.

I had two tests yesterday; i think i did pretty well. Actually, i havent felt that good about tests in a long time. i love the feeling of success.
Today begins fall break. No school till monday. However, i have an online philosophy test tomorrow, astronomy and economics homework due before monday, and a sociology mid-term to study for. The only thing that makes this break a break is that i dont have to sit in class. More time for homework i guess. haha.

My amazing, wonderful aunt sent me a box stuffed with candy. love that woman.

and i really want to carve a pumpkin or two sometime.

Also, i am getting a tattoo soon. Just a lil one.
its going to be little silhouettes of birds like the one
in this picture, but not as many as this- just 7 or 8 or so, and more up near my wrist instead of by my elbow. im excited. it'll probably be sometime later this month or next month.
Also, later on i want to get Song of Solomon 6:3 on my back in hebrew: I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. That way i will always remember who my first true love is.
Eventually i want to get sparrows on my feet, and around one the reference Matthew 10:29- a reminder that God will always take care of me. Also, don't you think it would be a cool idea to get wedding rings tattoo-ed on? I love the idea of that.


i mowed the lawn barefoot yesterday. it made me feel like that guy in the bradley hathaway videos.
also i moved up a notch in Facebook tetris.
i feel accomplished.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
=====================================================================
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


So seal the deal with your stamp of regeneration
grow me up into a new creation
taken from a tree and plucked from a vine,
if its my time to shine,
then shine your light on me so that everyone
hurting can see that there is hope,
hope in the seemingly endless valley full of rotten fruit
left behind from previous troops
that are now in your mountains
drinking directly from your fountains;
save me a spot, i will be there sooner than not,
im picking up the pace and im starting to trot