pumpkins!

so....
my parents will be home in like, 20 minutes. ish.

i spent the day power cleaning the house.
rugs vacuumed- check.
all trash taken out- check
living room picked up-check
kitchen cleaned-check
dead fish taken out of fish tank-check
room cleaned-check
mail sorted- check
laundry done-check
floor swept- ... oh well. best 8 out of 9.

now its like no one lives here. but thats the way they like it, i guess. idk. maybe theres a difference between clean and looking like no one lives here. but in my opinion, houses that are a little messy are more comfortable.


all i want to do lately is carve pumpkins. i think about it all the time. i looked up pumpkin designs online and everything. and i have all the tools. maybe my parents will buy me a pumpkin to carve tonight. and tomorrow night. and the next night, and the next.
josh and i carved a pumpkin last week. it was his first ever. He said that he'd never carved one before, so it was a must. really, carving pumpkins in october is a part of growing up. its a part of life.
we did the hardest design in the little design book thing, a mummy.
i dont know if it was supposed to look scary or not. mainly i think he looks like hes in pain. so we carved 'oh noes' into the side by his face. i think its fitting.

Also we smashed him on the street when he began to rot a few days later. its a new tradition. and its really fun.

i made $15 in tips this week, which is double the amount i normally make. people were extra generous yesterday, i 'spose.
it was kind of cool- last night Becky and i were really busy so we didnt start closing until late, which kind of sucked because we were going to be there for an extra hour or so and we were tired. Then a bunch of people showed up off the clock- our co-workers. Kristine came to do inventory, rhea came along for fun, and helen was there. it was a subway reunion. Helen and rhea helped becky and me clean up while Kristine did inventory, and we were done in half the time we would've been, and it was really fun with everyone there. For once no one was gossiping or being mean to the others, and we were all working together. i wish it was like that all the time.

Chris- our new owner- is really cool. he lets us listen to whatever radio station we want, and he has a tattoo. He's really nice which makes us actually want to do a good job to make him pleased. well me at least. Also his son is working there now. i havent met him yet, but those that have say hes fun and (according to marissa) "cute". guess ill be the judge of that :P

ive been looking into getting my tattoo. i dont think ill get it at addictive ink like i'd wanted though, because it would cost me $100 and i am a starving college student. Im thinking about going to Sachs because they start at $60 and im sure what i want wont be super expensive there. plus danielle got her's there, and she says its legit.
havent told my parents yet. ill tell 'em the day i get it.

they should be here any minute. were going to go to Frontier when they do. My parents are addicted to that place, haha.

cant wait to carve a punkin!
i love halloween.
i love little kids dressing up.
and eating candy.

(also, i got Eisley's new ep, Fire Kite. its amazing. really.)

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silver pink ponies flying over me
you may feel strange, well, you are an angel
stuck in tight pants, stuck at a high school dance
stuck doing people things not knowing you have wings
you are my serenade, you are my lemonade
you are my soul throw it all out the window
you are my training wheel, you are my chamomile
you are my friend come again some other day

i feel accomplished

its been a week since i posted. Feels like its been a month. Time is going by so fast, and when it passes it feels like its been much, much longer than its actually been. I feel like ive been in school for 4 months instead of 2, and i feel like josh and i have been together for years instead of just 6 months. And it seems like my parents have been gone for months and months, when its only been two. I dont know how ill get used to them coming back for good. I dont know if i can.

Mom and Dad are coming back today. They should get here a little after 4, and then their flight home is on saturday at 2:30. Im actually looking forward to them coming home. i have actually kinda missed them a little.
I feel good about them coming back for a few days, because i feel like i have nothing to hide from them. I used to keep to myself a lot because i didn't think they would understand me and would as a result condemn me for things. But now, i dont care if they judge me or critizise me or dissaprove of what i do or things i say. Now i feel open, like i want to share things about me with them so that they can know who i really am. I do still care what they think of me (naturally), i just care more about being myself, especially around them.
Also im excited that theyre coming because they said they have a suprise for me.
yay!

I asked my parents if they would take the money they would've spent on me at christmas and help me buy a car with it, and they said yes. Cant wait! Once i have a car, the next step will be to move out.
But of course i didn't tell them that. It would hurt them.

Ive been in a really good mood lately. Ive been thinking about beautiful things a lot lately, like God and my friends and the future, and that puts me in a good mood. I love surrounding myself with beautiful things too; colorful things and music. I was kind of mad earlier because i was reading Plato's Republic for my philosophy class, and in it Socrates says, "The lovers of sights and sounds like beautiful colors, shapes, and everything fashioned out of them, but their thought is unable to embrace and see the nature of the beautiful itself." I would definitely call myself a lover of sights and sounds. I love looking at beautiful things and hearing beautiful things; i certainly think that i can see and embrace the nature of beauty.
Now if he had said 'understand', that would be different. God is the most beautiful thing i can think of, and i definitely do not understand him or his beauty. but thats ok, because i know i cant understand it, and it makes it more beautiful that i cant.

I think that salvation is the most beautiful thing that a person can experience. Second would probably be marriage, and third would be having a baby. Actually, i guess i should say that love is the most beautiful thing that a person could experience. Gods love is above the rest and is the most beautiful, so salvation is the best thing a person can experience. Marriage is second most beautiful, because God made the people getting married exactly for each other, not to mention he gave them their love. Having a child is the third most beautiful because a baby is a miracle from God.
I guess things are just beautiful because God is everywhere in them.
I love how things are connected like that.

I had two tests yesterday; i think i did pretty well. Actually, i havent felt that good about tests in a long time. i love the feeling of success.
Today begins fall break. No school till monday. However, i have an online philosophy test tomorrow, astronomy and economics homework due before monday, and a sociology mid-term to study for. The only thing that makes this break a break is that i dont have to sit in class. More time for homework i guess. haha.

My amazing, wonderful aunt sent me a box stuffed with candy. love that woman.

and i really want to carve a pumpkin or two sometime.

Also, i am getting a tattoo soon. Just a lil one.
its going to be little silhouettes of birds like the one
in this picture, but not as many as this- just 7 or 8 or so, and more up near my wrist instead of by my elbow. im excited. it'll probably be sometime later this month or next month.
Also, later on i want to get Song of Solomon 6:3 on my back in hebrew: I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. That way i will always remember who my first true love is.
Eventually i want to get sparrows on my feet, and around one the reference Matthew 10:29- a reminder that God will always take care of me. Also, don't you think it would be a cool idea to get wedding rings tattoo-ed on? I love the idea of that.


i mowed the lawn barefoot yesterday. it made me feel like that guy in the bradley hathaway videos.
also i moved up a notch in Facebook tetris.
i feel accomplished.



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So seal the deal with your stamp of regeneration
grow me up into a new creation
taken from a tree and plucked from a vine,
if its my time to shine,
then shine your light on me so that everyone
hurting can see that there is hope,
hope in the seemingly endless valley full of rotten fruit
left behind from previous troops
that are now in your mountains
drinking directly from your fountains;
save me a spot, i will be there sooner than not,
im picking up the pace and im starting to trot

1/2 year

and many, many, many, many, many, many more.