only love is all maroon

i have a bruise on my right arm.
i was brushing my hair this morning and saw it in the mirror. It made me smile. it reminds me of fun times.

Laura left on sunday. We asked her what she wanted to do on her last day here, and she wanted to go to the zoo. So thats what we did on saturday. We ate at saggio's and then spent 20 minutes looking for the zoo even though it wasnt that far away. We felt kind of dumb getting lost because we'd been there so many times, but we found it eventually. I haven't had that much fun at the zoo in awhile. But it was over quickly, and then we went to my house and wasted time until laura had to leave because she hadn't started packing yet (which is one of the things i love about her). so we said goodbye.
and it was hard.
but she'll be back for thanksgiving, which is something to look forward. also, i am VERY tempted to road-trip up there (texas) to visit and see Eisley in November. we'll see what happens.

Also clinton left on sunday. (but i am more used to him being gone so it wasnt such a big deal). my parents went up with him to get him settled in his new apartment (!), and i stayed home to take care of the dog. It was really, really (really really really) nice to be on my own for awhile.
sunday night i went to see District 9 with josh, luke, alex, and caleb. i had no idea what it would be about. it was like this:
me- what movie are we going to see again?
josh- district 9.
me- what is it about?
josh and luke- aliens.
me- sweet.
And it was alright. a little disturbing at times, but overall a good movie. it ended at about midnight. we rode home talking about the movie (i love discussing movies), and the wind was rushing through the open windows, and music from josh's ipod was playing, and as we went over a bridge i looked outside at the stars and the moon lighting up the clouds thinking how amazing the day had been and how beautiful the sky had been looking, and i felt good. really, really good.

yesterday at grants house we had fun with saran wrap. we wrapped each other up in it and made it into whips and hit each other with them. I love that kind of simple fun.
then we went and played football in the park. (hence the bruise on my arm). it was fresh and clean out, and the grass was wet. it was amazing. a great way to end the summer.
and i didnt want to come home, not at all, because my parents were back. and yes, when i walked in the door they were angry with me.
sometimes all i feel like is a disappointment.
but it is bothering me less and less. (is that a good thing?)
anyway, they will be gone in a week. i am really looking forward to it. i know ill miss them, but sometimes you need a break, right?
right.


:)



^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”

i wasnt prepared

only a little over a week till college starts.
ive signed up for classes. i bought my books. i applied for financial aid. i highlighted a route to each of my classes on a map of the campus. so far, i am a good student.

There are lots of things i want to do before school starts, but theres no time to do them. i had a lot of plans for the summer, but then i got a job. its not a decision i regret, it just made things a lot more different than i thought they would be.
i am thinking of all the things i wanted to make that i didn't.
(im not upset, only indifferent.)
i want to have an ice blocking party. you know, sliding down a hill on blocks of ice. they say they're fun. who knows.

our church has a mission team in portland right now. i am really excited for them. http://portlandaugust2009.blogspot.com/
(thats their blog)
i wish i could be there right now. last year's trip was a truly amazing experience. Lately ive been remembering all the things about it that made it incredible, good times and bad times. encouragements and discouragements; seeing God in everything, hiding in a box in the elevator, eating "lesbian" food, korean style prayer, random lunches in the park, handing out deodorant to people who only wanted to appear halfway human, accidentally throwing balls out of the 5th story window, watching grown men eat 4 hot dogs and 3 bags of chips and two servings of potato salad and then go back for two servings of ice cream.
it was a very emotional experience. life changing, really. who can be the same after seeing what we saw? (people living the way they did) i only pray that God changes this mission team the way He changed mine.


yesterday peggy told me that i am her best employee. she is going to give me a raise.
i think its funny.
ive not been an extrordinary employee. ive really done nothing to earn this, not at all. i only do what im told to do, and im willing to do whatever they ask me to. i think its kind of sad that this is what makes me peggys "best" employee, since its only what the job requires. Doesnt say much for employees nowadays.

clinton and laura are leaving for college on the 16th. i am going to miss them, especially laura since shes always been here (13 years) and i could call her up if i wanted to hang out or something. now she's going to be in a different state, and im not going to see her for months at a time.
its going to be weird.
very, very strange.


i think that one of the most comforting things ive ever read in the Bible is that God will give us rest.

doesn't it sound nice?

rest.

==========================================================================================

Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch,
love is not a victory march;
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

4th

to: josh

remember this?

(listen to this- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQujXa5lvoI
and watch)




love you.


- amanda

plans

Have you ever seen that episode of The Office where the boss leaves and they have "office olympics" to entertain themselves?
Its one of my favorite episodes. They have this game where two people in adjoining cubicles bounce a ball off the wall into each others cubicles, and they have to try not to miss the ball, and then theres one where they tie stacks of paper to their feet and have to make their way across a room. They get those foil lids off yogurt cartons and use them as bronze, silver, and gold medals.
The whole things is really amusing, and lately at subway ive been thinking, it would be fun to have some subway olympics while peggys gone someday. (if the cameras were ever turned off)
ive already come up with a few "sports":
1) pan carry. when youre carrying pans of bread from the prep table to the oven, your arms can get tired. sometimes it is really a challenge. also, how many pans can you carry? we'll find out!
2) chip challenge. twice a day we have to stock chips, which means that you have to get the rack of chips, maneuver it through our tiny shop into the back (weaving through a doorway and a really tight corner between a wall and a prep table), and then get chips from boxes on really high shelves. (usually i have to stand on a chair on my tippy toes to reach them) This "sport" requires skill and dexterity. You shouldn't try it unless you are in the utmost condition. you could hurt yourself.
3) sandwich speed. When there is a lunch rush and two people are doing vegetables at one time, we sometimes compete to see who can finish first. (peggy doesnt actually know this) at subway olympics, we could take this out in the open and bring the competition face-to face.
4) turkey toss. actually, i came up with this one today. we ran out of turkey, but we didn't notice and didnt have time to get more because it was really busy. So we called to someone near the fridgerator to bring turkey, quick. when she got it out we said just to throw it because she could save the time it took to walk over. basically, you dont want to be the one to drop the turkey. use those muscles!

i know some people who claim to be the best subway employees, wonder if they're right? if we ever had subway olympics we could find out for sure.


i am getting ready to go hang out with laura. she is leaving on the 16th to go to college in texas. im gonna miss her so much.

yesterday i went on a bike ride. as soon as i got on my bike i knew i would go further than i'd ever gone before. i love that feeling. its powerful. exhilerating. Knowing that you are going far helps you get there, because you know that you can do it. well, its like you have no other choice but to do it.
so i rode my bike to smiths, the one up by rio rancho. i think it was 4 or 5 miles up there. a new record. it made me feel pretty good.
i had wanted to go to rio rancho, but it was hot and i didnt bring any water, so i thought i should turn around. maybe next time.

======================================================================================

I got a walnut brownie brain, and molasses in my veins,
Crushed graham cracker crust, my powdered sugared funnel cake cocaine.
Let the crescent cookie rise. These carob colored almond eyes
Will see my cashewed princess in the swirling marble sky.
Will rest upon the knee, where all the visions cease to be
A root beer float in our banana boat across the tapioca sea.
When letting all attachments go, is the only prayer we know,
May it be so, may it be so, may it be so, oh.

====================================================================