lightness

the other day i realized that i could really only think of about 5 people i hang out with nowadays, which is so different from when i was in high school since i had cnm friends and homeschool group friends and awana friends and church friends that i saw every week, many times a week in some cases.

this week most of my 5 good friends were out of town, so ive been spending much of my time alone, which is strange since the last 2 weeks were spent with friends who were home from college for the holidays and with my parents in oregon, and i was never really by myself. but i think i like to be by myself sometimes.

ive been staying up until 1-2 in the morning and sleeping in late. then i usually read or watch videos on youtube or hulu until i cant stay still any longer, and then i get up and go do something outside the house. this morning i went for a run (which was really more like a walk since im so out of shape). i think i should exercise more often, because it made me feel super amazing for the rest of the day, and ive been in a really good mood. And also it makes me feel like eating healthier and drinking more water which is always good.

i feel like being really physically fit, which im not at all right now. something josh was saying the other day made me think- i dont want to be the old person in the wheelchair who can't take care of herself; i want to be the little old grandma that surprises everyone by driving and gardening and traveling and stuff like that. if i want to be like that, i need to start taking better care of myself now.

anyway, ive been working a lot too, trying to make up for taking a week off.

school starts on monday, which should be interesting. i rented most of my school books from chegg.com instead of buying them (and saved $338.17!). they should come in any day now. im excited for my art class.

i love january. its just an overall exciting month.

ive been working on a surprise for josh's birthday all week. its something ive been working on for a long time but only relatively recently decided to surprise him with, and i keep almost blowing my cover because i suck at keeping secrets when im excited about something.

and im very excited.

i cant wait to exercise tomorrow.

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i keep a close watch on this heart of mine

i keep my eyes wide open all the time

i keep the ends out for the tie that binds

because youre mine

i walk the line

jan. 4

9 months.

<3

life is a game of waiting

im in portland.

i woke up at 6 because i was so excited, plus i had not done any packing.
I gave Danielles cats an extra helping of cat food to hold them over until Josh gets back from skiing, and i even kissed them and told them i love them before i left.
Also i fed the Morse's dog, bunny, snake, rat, fish, and birds and put out the trash at their house, danielles house, and our house.
then i packed and we were off.

i love traveling. i like packing and driving and flying and going places very unlike my home.

i also love coming home.

my parents were waiting for us when we landed. we went out to eat at red robin, and then we went to ikea, which is this super cool furniture store. its one of those stores that should be really boring to go into like home depot or walmart, but really there is so much color and so many creative ideas and they present them in such an imaginitive way that its one of my favorite stores right now. i got a little red light with a bird on it.
http://www.ikea.com/

i am really tired because ive not been sleeping. last night i got about 3 hours, which is not enough for me or anyone around since i can be a very unpleasant personwhen sleep deprived.
we were all tired driving 'home' from ikea, but as we were driving through portland i was looking at all the lights and couldn't help feeling alive no matter how sleepy. all i could think was that i have been waiting to come back here for a long, long time.

here i am.